still sizzle

we need a break but broke up my decision

2011-12-14T04:43:00.000-08:00

"YOU CHOOSE BROKE UP OR NOT?", he said on the phone

"....Ye-s" , crying

This is the last story about ALG and I'll never wish my feelings sooooo confused. im sorry, I just dont know what's happen with me, I swear! please forgive me, and please I dont ever expect my feelings changed. please make me like the past time when I meet you. I'll never felt my feeling like that again :"( , please make me comeback to you again, dont ever accept my decision... akaa.....

The THIN girl

2011-11-18T03:37:00.000-08:00

"Hahahaha youre nothing than her, youre Thin" , said them

"But, Im beautiful"

"you are beautiful but it's useless to have a thin body and she's better than you because youre Thin"

The girl back to go home, and crying. almost 3 years she' always got a words like that. she's always wonder "how I can be better than this? why their always make fun of me like that? and WHY for the last I have to cried for that mock?" she's upset, and crying over and over again.

They are she's friend. she know, their always joke like that. but, sometimes that Joke really make her crying and down. and more than that, their always joke in front of her boyfriend. almost 3 years.

everygirl on her school, always proud of their body because they have ideal body. but HER is not. just because she is THIN. "there are no men who glance if your body is still like that", the girlfriend said.its just, make her down of her body.

"What should I do? I HATE THEM!" , crying, and seems like want to punch them. she's always hoping once upon a time, sHE CAN SHOWING HER IDEAL BODY AND TO BE FAMOUS ON THIS WORLD. and meet them again for said, "dont ever hurt another person with ur joke again, because ur joke can make another people down, and THATS NOT FUNNY TO BE A JOKE!" and she's promise she never will to be a friend again with them. not because she's arrogant but enough to had a hurt broken. and sadly, that girl is ME. :( the THIN girl

much love

2009-12-08T21:37:00.000-08:00

maybe for me this is nothing stale because, as I think I will not see any love again when I shared with gilang .. apparently I was wrong .. now I found a lot of love that makes me happy everyday, but it also makes me scared love it call it the initials R, S, A, D, And N. one of them is my little friend who always liked me and now I turn around like him. then there are just as eye wash in the sense of not really like him.

but there is one that makes me very interested in it .. and I've only seen a picture of it from virtual media ... the first time I fell in love for the umpteenth time .. after the exes on the current boyfriend and him. but was not reduces my love and my love of gilang. because, my only he looked forward to his arrival as possible. here is one that makes me afraid because of my love again I'm afraid this happens to my boyfriend I do not want him to leave me especially, because women ... imagine it hurts it.hopefully not. though I love someone a lot but hopefully my heart still siding with gilang and loyal to him. I hope he's thinking the same thing like me.

sacrifice

2009-11-25T21:13:00.000-08:00

dimana setiap orang yang jatuh cinta punya pengorbanan untuk cowok yang di sayanginya. yea like me. I was not allowed to date at because I think they're too small...mungkin bagi semua nya itu adalah kebohongan yang sudah biasa. backstreet tapi buat aku, ini hal yang sangat susah! karna, aku harus mengucap sumpah demi sumpah untuk membohongi mereka semua... aku ngga tau dosa ku berapa banyak... tapi, aku menjalani semua dengan keterpaksaan.. I I feel like I was big enough to feel that name dating .. but they do not want to understand it to sue to keep the rules they make. aku ngga tau harus melakukan apa lagi?

Tapi, ternyata dia tak bisa menghargai pengorbananku dia terus memarahiku menuntutku. aku memberinya surpriced dlm ulg tahunnya. itu dia lupakan dgn sgt mudah, aku memberinya barang kesukaan nya pun mungkin bg nya hal yang biasa. padahal, aku mengumpulkan uang nya itu dengan tidak jajan slm 3 bulan.... andai ia tahu bawha aku begini karna aku terlalu mencintainya...(BASI BANGET) hahhahahaha tapi hanya itu yang bisa ku utarakan padanya! tak lebih...

011009 with sunshine

2009-10-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hari ini gue sm Gilang aditya kusuma jalan-jalan berdua, walaupun cuma 4 jam tapi cukup menyenangkan di waktu yg seseingkat itu... mau tau? oke gue ceritain yaaa..
pertama di warnet : gue sm gilang janjian ketemuan di sana tp gue ngga blg kalau gue udah nyampe. dan gue berada di no. 2... trus gue sms gilang yg belum dtng ngmg gini... "Ayang aku maunya di no. 2 kalau ngga, aku ngga mau ah!" trus dia blg " kalau ada org gmn?" hahaha trus aku blg lg "Ngga mau tau! no. 2!" wkwkwkwk aku ngerjain dia gitu.. dia dtng tp ngga nyadar ada aku di no. 2! terus,, dia sms lg." kalau di no.1 gmn?" gue blg ngga mau dan gue nanya emang ada orang di no. 2? padahal, orgnya gue sendiri! haha trus dia blg . ada. langsung aja gue ngga kuat nahan ketawa gue tendang kursinya dr no. 2! trus dia sadar dan dia ke no. 2 deh! "lo udah nyampe? kurang ajar lo. huahahaha" trus dia sms lg... "ADA ORANG GILA DI NO. 2?" hahahahaha kurang ajar emg tuh.! trus kita pacaran., bercanda-canda! hahahahahaha kocak deh.!

kedua : kita makan di kfc pamulang square dan kalian tau waktu pertama kali kita dtng kita diliatin kyk artis gitu dari mulai duduk, pesen makanan, sampai cuci tangan aja diliatin huahahahahaha gue sm gilang kayak pangeran sm putri huahahahahaha.. trus kita bercanda-canda suap-suapan! hahaha seru deh pokoknya! terus, kita kira ada foto box di sana, ngga taunya ngga ada. trus kita main game-game gitu deh mobil-mobilan kaki gue ngga nyampe hahahaha parahzzz gue di katain sm gilang. tapi, pas pindah tempat kaki gue nyampe dan gue yg menag akhirnya! huahahauhauhauhuahua terus kita pergi lg dr tempat itu ...

ketiga: indomaret kita foto box di situ, ekspresi gue kurang oke. kita gaya jelek-jelekkan konyol banget deh di sana terus, kita liat-liat buku. si gilang sih komik, kalau gue buku tentang manajemen buat kuliah gue nanti. terus gilang blg " liat gitar yuk di gioant? kalau ngga slh ada deh!?" tancap ke giant jalan kaki dr sana... hahaha

ke empat : giant.. pas di liat NGGA ADA nyape-nyapein aja tapi, gue seneng kok.. hr ini terakhir gue beliin dunkin donnut buat nykp bkp nya ! hahahahahaha dari jam 9 smpai 12 cukup menyenangkan! walaupun cuma di sekitar pamulang! huhuhuhuhuhu I love you sayaaang mmmuaaah!

happy day

2009-08-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

Hari ini gue seneeeeeennnnngggg bangettt , tadi sih gue sempet sedih lagi karna, temen gue bilang "adit, keliatan berubah" tapi, setelah di bicarain lagi sm adit.. dia bilang "jangan ngikutin kata-kata temen-temen kamu , ah! kamu juga cuek kok sama aku..." and I say " aku pingin kita ngubah image hub. kita depan mereka, aku pingin kita kayak dulu lagi yang saling sayang?" he's say :" oke sayaaanggg!", hihi, seneng deh! eh tapi dia bilang besok ngga mau masuk karna, lg ngerencanain surprice buat gue! tapi gue ngga tau apaan? recet deh. bikin penasaran aja nih orang! semoga aja surprice iut bener2 surprice yang bikin gue seneng. and gue juga lg seneng karna seseorang, belum saaatnya gue ceritain di sini bay-bay!

2009-08-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

that's when I'll stop loving you. when my heart become not sizzle . aditya, sms gue dengan kata-kata yang dulu sempat hilang karena kita terus ribut. yea, itu udah biasa kita lakuin sampai ujungnya kemarin. tadi kita telfonan. ternyata, setelah tadi dalam sekejap dia bisa ngubah penilaian boring ke gue jadi sayang ke gue. he's say :"kamu sih yang,, aku jadi terpaksa kan ngomong kayak gitu! aku ngga ma banget ngomong kayak gitu kemarin, tapi kamunya marah-marah mulu sih!" and I say :"tapi, bukan gitu caranya aku ngga suka deh" kita ketawa-tawa tadi.
and Im sure Really sure. gue emang belum bisa ngelepasin dia. tadi gue sempet bikin dia marah karna, gue ngomong " gue kangen banget sama..." kata dia tuh kan mulai lagi.. hahahaha pokoknya gitu deh. kita udah baikan. tinggal menunggu hari dimana kita akan berantem lagi. tapi, gue berharap itu ngga ada. aditya, he's mine. thats can always in my feel right now. tapi, dia kok belum ngabarin gue ya, udah pulang atau belum? bandel nih anak.
but, thanks for this blog because I become enjoy in this blog. I can tell my story in here. its make me enjoy. huh, LEGAAAAA!!!! okay, see you tomorrow. I love this blog. and I promise I will tell my story about my life in here. always. good bye.

perubahan

2009-08-26T04:13:00.000-07:00

sekarang semuanya makin keliatan jelas kemarin, gue ngajakin dia balika lagi setelah gue sadar gue masih belum bisa ngelepain dia saat ini tapi, gue ngga pernah maksa dia semakin ke sini dia semakin keliatan mulai ngga perduli sm gue, saat gue pingin ngomong ke adit gue takut kita debat lagi dan akhirnya dia ngomong putus dan gue kehilangan dia. adit, gue kangen sama lo yang dulu lo yang selalu buat gue ketawa, lo yang sayang banget sama gue. pertama kali kita pacaran lo setia nungguin gue, lo slalu bikin gue punya kejutan dan cerita setiap harinya, tapi sekarang kenapa lo gini? gue ngga ngerti, dit!? gue masih inget kapan pertama kita pegangan tangan, kita saling bahu-membahu , tapi sekarang beda banget? gue keinget omongan temen lo yang namanya wina bilang, "suatu saat nanti ada saatnya lo ngga akan pernah sayang sm gue lg?". gue sedih banget dit, sumpah!
well, tapi gue jg ngga mau terpuruk cuma gara-gara cowok kayak lo. gue janji, kalau lo bilang putus lagi.. gue ngga akan nahan lo atau kalau perlu gue yang mutusin lo! gue emang cengeng tapi gue ngga bodoh. gue harus bangun dari CINTA YANG SAMA SEKALI NGGA ADA ARTINYA INI. kalau lo bisa kayak gitu gue, juga bisa.!

still sizzle

2009-08-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

enggak tau kenapa sekarang-sekarang ini hidup bagi gue ngga ada artinya, semuanya datar ngga ngerti gimana cara ngegambarin kehidupan yang lagi gue jalanin sekarang, panggil dia aditya. aditya adalah seseorang yang paling gue sayang semenjak, gue deket sm dia, dia anaknya asik, ngga ngebosenin, selalu bikin gue ketawa. sampai akhirnya gue pacara sm adit. hari-hari gue jalanin bahagia selalu saat gue pacaran sama dia, tp semakin ke sini dia semakin lain semakin jauh semakin nunjukin hati dia udah ngga ada lg buat gue. berkali-kali temen-temennya selalu bilang "banyak cewek yg mau sm adit, lo tuh di pacarin karna terpaksa" kata-kata yg tadinya cuma benalu sesaat ternyata, bisa lebih nyakitin sekarang. ya, gue akuin dia ganteng tp sayang dia ngga pernah ngerti apa yang gue mau. apa yg gue lakuin semuanya salah di mata dia. 11.08 gue putus sama dia kemarin malam, tapi gue ngga mau munafik gue belum bisa lepasin dia buat saat ini.